The Pitstop before Pacing.

That morning, I woke up as usual. But the day wasn't normal, it was a day that would change the course of everyone's journey called life. None of us would have realized when we woke up that day. I woke up and brought my palms closer to my face as an act of prayer that I had been doing for the past 15 years. I clicked on the switch of the heater in my bathroom and laid my workshop uniform, a juniper-colored shirt, and pant. As warm water ran down my shoulders, I was still unaware of what's in store for us. I slid into the uniform and texted my parents the morning greetings ( It had been incorporated into my daily morning routine, and if I missed it, I would stick to the notion that the day would be horrible). I lifted my bag and walked towards my classroom, from the hostel. A dull 7:30 AM, I prefer to have breakfast when there is no one around me or skip breakfast. Two hours later, I was in my hostel, throwing 2 pairs of everything. I was excited to go home, the college gave us a 15-day break. It was announced that a Chinese virus called Corona, has now sneaked into India and the cases are rising rapidly. I left the hostel with a Duffle Bag and my college bag, with clothes that could help me survive for a couple of weeks and few essentials.

Today, Here I am, a totally different person, in comparison to what I was a year ago. I came home for fifteen days and now it's been a year since it happened. This pandemic period, the diabolical uprising, and the satisfying reductions sum up the entire 2020. Quoting a popular dialogue from the Movie 3 idiots/Nanban - 'Life is a Race and if you don't pace someone is sure to overtake you.' The entire movie advocates this philosophy and proves it wrong to a major extent. But films are just another world, nothing is true in films. In reality, Life is actually a race - A humongous track, and we run without taking a rest. I'd been busy running the race, I felt exhausted at times & victorious when I kept running despite fatigue.

I forgot about myself, as I ran the race. What are my favorite books? I would say-"I don't know". What is my philosophy? and I would reply, "Why should I know?          This Pandemic Period would have been difficult for many, Boring for some, Productive for a few, and Enlightening for others. My condolences to all those who lost their loved ones during this period.

RESTART:

I had been told that I spend my initial stages of infancy with my grandparents in a remote village called Mathoor in Kanyakumari District, Tamil Nadu away from my parents. My parents had been working in a place called Kudankulam in Tamil Nadu. Which meant it was easier for me to fit in with my grandparents, who genuinely loved me. As soon as I stepped into my house, I became an infant. My grandparents began pampering me and insisting me to eat more, just like any other grandparents would do. I felt like the kid too, I would goof around all day long.

The government announced Lockdown, then the Lockdown Extended and again it kept on extending. Three Weeks into Quarantine, I felt anxious. Staying at home became a tedious task and I wanted to return back to college as soon as possible, but at the same time, I wanted to stay at home with my grandparents. The entire period, I was still the baby that I had been in 2001 with my grandparents pouring in extra affection and care. At the beginning of April 2020, there was a day where I felt extremely pressurised that I didn't get out of my room. I remained stuck on my bed, skipping breakfast and Lunch. My grandfather came to my room and knocked- He insisted that I should eat something to remain healthy. I dragged myself out of the room and had lunch. It was a non-vegetarian delicacy that day. I decided that would be the last Non-Vegetarian meal I would be having and switched to a completely Vegetarian Diet after that. In addition to Non-Vegetarian food, I refrained from eating Noodles and anything made out of Maida- Which included one of my favorite delicacies- Kerala Parotta. Everyone who knew me was shocked at my decisions because I was a person who favored all these exponentially greater than others. I slept on the floor because the bed seemed uncomfortable. 

I began reading books online, this time more vigorously than ever. I woke up at 4 AM and made sure that I had a glimpse of the dark sky before the sun comes up, with a track of Bob Dylan on Spotify. It was a very difficult challenge, with everyone else eating delicious Chicken and me gulping Rice with sambar. But, I remained firm in my decision. I began reading more about Business Strategies and the growth of companies and about the minds behind them. I used to idolize Steve Jobs, but now after knowing more about him, I began worshipping him. My friends claim Steve Jobs was just the face of apple and was not the engineer who designed the products. I don't want to explain, because They just don't get it, and it doesn't matter to me. Slowly I saw changes in my behavior and maturity. I began thinking more often, although it would lead to anxieties and sleepless nights, I never stopped thinking.

REALISE:

I remained a strict vegetarian all through this phase. This was a phase when I resumed writing stories and indulging in writing poetry, after months of restlessness mentally. At the same time, I, and my cousins commenced a channel on youtube. The channel had above great view rates for a beginner, and we kept on making content. We received positive reviews from our subscribers on the content we created. I learned tonnes of editing techniques and became familiar with the youtube algorithm. I was the short-tempered director, the decibel of whose voice went beyond limits. The entire aspect of scripting the content, shooting the video, editing it patiently, and finally releasing the video into the platform was a learning experience. It was beautiful, the experience revived a whole new me within me.

But on the other side of the coin, The team was breaking up in some way or the other, as the days passed by. Incidents following taught me the difference between Maturity and Immaturity. Although I became a step more confident, brand new insecurities began sneaking into me, which may sound ironic. This period gave me a glimpse of the real meaning of Life, People, Society & Friends.

RECOVER:

The phase where I focussed on Wants over Needs. After Six and a half months of refrainment, I tasted chicken during this time. I became a toned-down version of myself already. My days were exactly the same, I felt like Phil Connors from Groundhog Day. I wake up to find Zoom Links in WhatsApp and over 500 unread messages. This phase was the most anxious and depressive one, but I came out of it as a better person. It was during this phase I encountered the Idea of Minimalism- Both Mind and Surroundings. I became Agnostic and began questioning religious philosophies. It was hard to avoid being judged as a psychopath in a conservative place like my hometown, But I literally stopped giving a F*CK about what others think because according to me anyone who judges others for their personality and mistreats them is an absolute ass. Looking back, this phase re-established the philosophies I am following today. The number of times, I wake up at night anxious about what's next has reduced drastically and the well-required maturity has increased exponentially.

REJUVENATE:

Currently, I'm sitting in my room with a straight posture. Drinking a glass of water, enjoying each drop of it as the cold magical liquid flows down my throat. I learned to enjoy the little things in life, although I still get anxious at the big things. I still listen to Bob Dylan- as I've indulged in decluttering and throw away every unnecessary THINGS, EMOTIONS & PEOPLE. I've adopted more of a minimalist lifestyle, that I had been following for many months already. Now I understand the power of focusing on needs more than wants, mentally & materialistically. I am still passionate, this time with a clearer goal and a worthy destination. My thoughts are focused and so are my actions. Although I am not an absolute minimalist. I'm treading down the path of being one, and it's beautiful. Lately, I've learned to take more mature decisions on the spot, which had improved my outlook about the world practically. 

I'm just 19 years old, I had the privilege of having a year to myself to understand my personality and I'm working hard to redefine myself in every possible way to keep myself satisfied. Life still has a lot of hard lessons in store for us for which this year is just a pit-stop. So, Change your tires, work on your repairs, refuel and zoom out- World is your racetrack, and, you are the champion. ⚡